come weekend come

I hate my job. Loathe it's perfection. I am stuck in a 35,000 a year job with benefits and vacation and perfect borem. I spend 25% of my day fucking off. And for what? That pay check. I am "the perfect match for us". There compliment hurts me. I am not or never will be the perfect secretary. But I am getting out. Getting a new job. Getting over this city. And I am getting out of it too. All I can see is what is ugly. I hope this isn't a lasting part of the depression. I haven't seen anything beautifully in over 6 months. Everything I see on the streets is dead; the walking dead, the cramped, cut and dying attempt at vegatation, the ideas which have just been recycled and regurgited until they are shit and have turned into dirty water. There is nothing new and exciting anymore. And possiblities are draining from me every moment I sit here and stare at the smae almost-tan walls. The perfect cubical layout is closing in on me. Their lofty ideas are just another way of delievering bad news to paying consumers.

The world is fattened enough.

I want a little simplicity. I want to be able to park my car in a driveway and go to a forest, drive to go hiking. what I wouldn't give to have decided to go to players this summer. i am so sad about that. i don't know how much longer i can stand this shitty situation. I am so glad to be going to Door county this weekend.

:) 2 days.