Rank

Self-pity has been streaming through my body and coming out every pore like garlic. Rank.

Tonight I pulled the Singer of Transfiguration card from my Faerie Oracle deck. Bamm! Thankful for transformation. Thankful for change. Thankful for feeling more than nothing. Fucking Ben or Not Fucking Ben. I am thankful. And he is probably not worth another long entry.

It snowed today. Winter is in the air. I am happy it has arrived, and always apprehensive. When will winter affect me? Will it? But this is what I read today

"The sorrier we feel for ourselves, the worse our life becomes."

I am saying that twice and believing it, then going to sleep.

Each new group picks on the non-present group. I guess such is life on the tour. We have now been with each other for way too many days, meals, shows, and drunken football games. The solitude is wearing on me. My room is tiny and packed with relics of my former self. I suppose I should lose them in one of these cities and take up some new hobbies. Like slap-jack or french or swimming or whoring. Life rocks.