sobbing in the warm tub. missing being hugged.

Today, I cried. Sobbed, but tears came out. I suppose more tears are still in there since my head aches like it is stuffed. I haven't cried without the help of a shrink for absolutely years.

I am proud of myself. I am completely numb from the misery I am feeling.

I want to go home.

My job isn't worth the amount I work and the amount of disrespect I am feeling and the amount of abuse and negativity I have been subjected to.

And with Glen Gould and some face cream, I am putting myself to bed without finishing my work.

12 hours a day is enough. Losing sleep is enough. FUCK them. I really, really don't know how I am going to make it out of this particular situation without losing part of my soul.

I miss social connection. All I feel is this hatred towards people. I miss my friends and being hugged. And feeling happy.