The enormity of the proposition floored him

Head ache is the name of the game. I'm messed up emotionally. Truth is so hard to surmise sometimes when my active fantasy life is... well, activated! You see, I am finally realizing the extent and depth to which I can reach with solitary fantasy. And now the void, I attempt to fill with just about everything --is just a void and it's creeping up on me. So anyone know the solution to singledom? And what I think I am fathoming, as my 26 birthday gallops towards me threatening to take me down with it, is that there is no guarentee that there will be a solution. No guarentee that the dream of a little girl discovering she IS a woman will be realized. Not every girl gets the marriage, relationship, husband, and subsequent rewards... children, dog, and house in the woods. I want it all. But am I putting any effort into the realization of this dream? Why am I relying on the universe to solve my problems? Too many big questions, and the headache seems to be subsiding and I get to go home before the light is gone. I read something somebody wrote. I was affected in a multitude of ways. The enormity of the proposition floored me. I feel things that aren't real. In dreams, they are. They REAL aren't. They make my teeth grind. Imagining myself in a relationship, a marriage, a mother and a companion.