boys that give panic attacks are not good for little birds.

Hello breath.

Trying really hard today to breathe deep. And keep food down. I'm nausiated by my whole boy situation. Did it bring up past issues I don't want to deal with?? Probably. Will I deal with them now? Probably not. Breathing in and out is what I'm doing. Trying to work at work. Trying not to think about it/him/that/thing.

I have a really cool superball w/a big spider in the center.

I can't wait to go the gym tonight. To beat my body. To Forget. Breathe.

To sleep safely in my own bed alone without nightmares and creepy panic attacks and the sent of something which was once there.