Yeah, it's pretty good...

I did what I needed to do tonight. Can you believe I am 27 and still need to run things past my parents? I'm such a child, and yet, I really trust their opinion.

I'm mad at Jen again. I'm mad at myself for being mad at Jen for being who she is. We've grown apart. I've changed too much to put up with her self-centered, need-to-be-taken-care-of, need-attention, stuff. I don't have the energy for it and we have very little in common it seems anymore. She wants always to hang with the roommates. But I could care less whether I hang with the roommates. What is that about? Why am I so just plain apathetic about the twins? I have this overwhelming feeling that it is just that I don't want it. I don't fit there. It's not me. Instinct is rarely wrong. Now, I did have a good time on Weds at the performance art thing with her. But I don't want to go to her friend's parties and suck. ew. So I didn't. Bad. I am sure I made her mad or disappointed her but she is such a fucking baby... and I can say this to d-land, what I would never say to her. I have a hugely protective inclination when I think/talk about her/act around her. But I do need new friends. Adults who are going to care about my needs in a friendship.

I went to the BIG N's show tonight. Damn right choice. (the other choice was listening to one of the twins talk through the foriegn language film to the other twin) It energized me. It brought my shoulders down to a managable spot. I laughed. I was moved. I saw cool flashing lights. He really does do amazing work and had a great cast to work with. It doesn't help that I am completely inamored with him. But he'll be gone soon and I'll have to find another boy to pine over. Where's my jboy??

I got my massage table today. It solidifies everything. The choice I made to change careers, the change of my life, new seasons. I love it all. My massage classes are great. I am practicing on that park girl tomorrow. I own I freakin massage table! How much more good can it get.