one dream, symptom regression and a couple of films

It�s the morning meeting time. And it�s my time to fuck off.

I was having memories of The Emerald Forest as I was daydreaming today. Has anyone actually seen this film? I think I have very vivid memories of it because I saw it as a child. I love the dream-state sequences where they fly over and through the rainforest after they have turned into an animal. I often dream of doing the same thing. It is my need to escape. To rise above, to see but not be involved. Self-isolation. I should rent that movie someday. But if I do, I am sure it will not be as good as I remember it. Speaking of films, Moulin Rouge was beautiful and extremely innovative.

I�ve been very tired since this weekend. Am I anxious? Am I depressed? Am I dehydrated? Am I experiencing side effects from the meds? I wish I knew and could help myself. I need to stop regretting that I am spending the summer here. It really isn�t a choice I made. I have to be on health insurance and I have to see my counselor, my psychiatrist, my internist and �get better� �get happy� �feel normal� again. And I need the time to get myself into a good place before I take on the responsibility of the tour. I just wish it were trib nap time. I wish my head would stop spinning inward so I could actually enjoy the moments of my life instead of analyzing them to death and regretting and planning every detail of the future.

And here�s the future!! Jen is moving to Minneapolis with Sara O and Mel. Oh happy day. This could be very good for both of us.

I dreamt Chris and I were in my old high school, but we were in an ice cream shop at the same time and I told Chris I was bisexual. Funny stuff. I also dreamt I was a circus act. Thank you, Moulin Rouge for such interesting dreams and a Spectacular, Spectacular headache this morning.

I hate our un-elected president. (no I�m not over it yet.)