"what ever tomorrow brings, I will be there, with open arms and open eyes, yeah"

I just got back from seeing rachel. Damn, I'm going to miss that girl. She told me all about Charydbis and we talked. And laughed. Her hair curled so perfectly in this humidity, in her self-cut chunks. She asked me if I thought I would ever go back to chicago. I cringed. I don't think I ever could. I now associate it with so much sadness. But I will miss her so much. I can really be myself with her. She laughs at my jokes, I think because we have the same sense of humor. Yep, I'm going to miss her. Lots. I love that girl!

I think I am getting a bit of an accent just being here 2 weeks. What can you expect? MinnEsota won't be any better.

I think I finally know what all my anxiety has been about. It's just that I'm in this inbetween place, not where I left, not yet where I am going, and while I talk the big talk, I guess I am afraid of what is coming, what I have left and not having a PLAN.

Fear fucking sucks.

My back decided to be a bastard today. I know this stress is not good for my back (neither is moving, but what can one do).

I'm not ready for the influx of family on my peaceful little world. 14 members to be exact. within two stories. And kids. And brother and doggie. Where are my cuddle kitties when i need them to greet me at the door?

Do you ever wish you could rid yourself of all your lingering nostalgia and just live today as if it were the only moment avaliable to you?

I do.