Ah, just you and I mister Pink?

It's been a hard week. Somewhat. As hard as it can get when you are enjoying yourself. I'm not going to rephrase that.

It seems I will remain a virgin a bit longer. damn. or not damn. I guess I would have gotten hurt even more than I did just flirting with this guy. WHO the hell am I to think that I am emotionless? I am the most emotional person... it's just that I bottle it up. And what's worse, I fall just as quickly as the most romantic romantic. Hell, I even had a crush on Trever and he's everyone's favorite crush.

I am growing up, but sexual-emotionally, I am still in the Jason Fairweather phase. I can't say what I mean or what I really want to say. Instead I end up saying something stupid, or VERY antagonistic. Hell, I don't know what to do with that. I have a lot of fantasies where I seduce the male into my web of desire. I have a very active sexual imagination but I don't know how that would play out, especially given my 8th-grade-recess social skills when it comes to men.

But really now, how does one approach a man who has a girlfriend already???? Without looking like a ho? The funny thing is that I just like to hang with him, but I know I would end up looking at his crotch or some other part of his pretty antomy.

Ah well. I'm happy, just horny, and in the bottoming out part of a crush.

My interview at G went really well this weekend. They called to ask for references today. :)

I wish I could talk to rachel about all this. But she doesn't know I am a virgin. I've gotten so fucking good at hiding it. I think I'll order another vibrator. Mister Pink has seen better days.