And I almost felt bad

I had lunch with B today. Simple lunch (we had breakfast). Conversation that wasn't awkward (all the time). And I almost felt bad that I wanted to screw him. Because, I know that he has a relationship with someone else-- and I guess I shouldn't fuck with that for my own hormonal reasons.

BUT he really does turn me on. And it is only "ON TOUR" situation. And I really, really want to get laid. How much longer do you think my vibrator will hold out?

It has been so interesting, being at that edge of sexual tension. I have to take deep breaths, or chew my nails when I see him warming up and doing his yoga on his back. Or just knowing that I could go to his room and turn him on and probably fuck him right there, turn around and sleep alone in my own bed, complete and satisfied. Ah, I would love that.. Or knowing that if I had him in my room it would be very hard to control myself. What am I turning into? A sexually liberated virgin. Ah sigh.

Max & Becky came to visit me for a couple hours tonight since we are in Janesville. It was so great to see them. I miss my family, I really need to get some good pictures. And they brought Choas. Oh, MAN I love that dog!!!!!

You know, I am really not the person I thought I was... But I kinda like the person I am discovering I am.

Effexor Be Praised.