the reason for delay.

I suppose I should "add an entry"... It's just been busy, and not busy. Reflection and recreation time has kept me from the internet (and working). Billy Joel's Good Night My Angel is playing. God it's so perfect for right now.

We are 1/2 way through this tour. People are beginning to separate. The egos, the cool kids, the clashing opinions, the differing work ethics... it's all getting to me. I am empathize. I ache when an actor misses their significant other, when someone is left out, when ego starts banging an ego out of insecurity. It really shouldn't be my concern. Yet, I feel like my knowledge of all these situations, all these paradoxs, and hypocrisy... what does one do with that?

I masterbate.

Kidding. No, I guess I'm not. I have to do have to let off steam somehow. I still haven't decided who I want to be and I am again in a period of great change. I really don't know what to replace my bad habits with. My smoking/drinking and all the partying/socializing I love. And as unhealthy I know that is and the more it becomes a moral dilemma with me, I feel like I don't know how to grow up and get a real job.

Speaking of real jobs. I got another tour. A big regional theatre tour. "great resume builder". Who the fuck cares tonight... I'm sleeping alone.

And the grass is always greener...

And if I can't say anything nice, why do I write?? I guess this is the reason for no updates.