going home & reprocusions

So I went back to the old stomping ground. Drove down Wolf River rd. where I used to run/rollerblade/bike (8 yrs ago), down greenfield, down the hill to Margaret Lynn Avenue. And the trees are now taller than the house and you can't even see the garden from the road. 8 years.

I drove out of town to k, past chosa's and out to krohn's lake. KK. It all seemed so much smaller than it once seemed. But the same frozen lake with a small dock. Past Vanvagels, up the hill to mess that is/was hendrick's, with their piles of useless metal, where the horse field seems to be used as a parking lot now. Davitt's old house is now a dark blue/grey with subdivision trim accented with a puffy cartoon flag on the mail box. Probably changes by season. Two attack dogs greeted my car as I turned around. Ah, the places we've been.

I went walking on the beach out at the wayside across from the trailer park. The lake is so gorgeous during the winter. The sun was setting southwest and I could see the colors begin to change under the clouds. And between the hill & the ice was this huge patch of beach. And it was littered with shells. Zebra mussels--the european preditor. It wasn't so when I was growing up. 8 years since I have been living in Algoma... yet why is so much of me, my thought patterns, relate back to those times? Wow, 8 years.

I am so different. We all are. It's just that I have a hard time, now that I am beginning to be comfortable in my own skin, with who I was and who I am. Like I have this city mouse/country mouse thing all inside me.

And then there is Jer. I wrote him a letter this morning (2nd draft of course) and sent it with the necklace I made him. I found pictures of him on the internet last night. I swear, it is not just me that has stauker tendancies!!!! or is it? I dung up his old letters, and photos of the mts. Damn. I would just like to see him again, it's been almost 4 years now, and see if he isn't ment to be mine... Wait a second... I don't believe in that.

Well, thinking about him is thinking about being outside and being nature girl again and being in shape. And I am really getting used to this slow pace, and I have a lot of time on my hands. So there.