I want to climb mts.

It snowed. I love winter. Wonderful fluffy brush-off-your-car and fill-your-windshield-wiper-fluid days!! Winter has arrived in the midwest.

The forest is now covered with a dense blanket. God it's gorgeous. I only have 2 more days here. Tomorrow and Wednesday. I have to pack most of that time. Eeek. God. I got out my skiies today. Spiders were nesting in and around my ski boots. It's such a shame, the things I have let go to pot in my life.

You have to understand, the conversations my parents have in this house. Telling. Funny. Eiree. Tonight it jumped from back pain, to correct "lifestyle changes" in order to lose weight and keep it off forever (will someone please tell my mother that she is 51 and beautiful?), to how many squirrels we have in the forest. Apparently, we have so many squirrels that a family of 4 could feed themselves entirely of squirrel meat for an entire year. (Thank you dad) The things we talk about. And apparently squirrel is a tough meat to clean from the animals, but lean like chicken. Who cares? Well, exactly. But it was funny.

They started talking about their gardens today... the day we got enough snow to stay. It's funny. They are the healthiest people I know, but still strive to be as healthy as they can be. It drives me crazy. Nobody is perfect, and it is hard to eat as well as they do. But I am eating well here too, and loving it. I am over my sugar, alcohol and nic cravings.

Mom & I are "off sugar". For me it is again. I have been a vegi for 8 years now. I was caffinee free for 3 years, but I went back on for the tour (driving w/o it sucks ass). I was sugar free for 8 months of last year. 8 whole months without any refined sugar. What became of it? Well, I became extemely depressed when I went back on it, but my friends stopped saying "you are no fun when you don't eat sugar".

But fuck everybody. My parents. Fashion. Diet D'joir. Stimulants. Friends. What the fuck do I want out of my life? Who do I want to be? Loved. Well, yah. Who doesn't? Strong. I want to be able to hike and camp and bike and backpack and swim and run without losing my breath. I want to be in shape. AND I want respect and appreciate my body and make it strong. So I want health. I want to climb mts. I want to climb mts. That would make me happy.

(Sidenote: Isn't it lovely to have conversations with ourselves?)