"and she said love will come to you"

My mind races. Every moment. It's not too much coffee. It's time to race. I have a lot on my mind. What is it? I am not sure I know. Something about my isolation here or watching so many people achieve their dreams or my wieght or wondering what it is that I am doing. Or having too much time to think. I haven't been drinking. I haven't been smoking. I haven't been doing.

So much about work invigorates me and then my life drops down to this after work lull. It's a kind a void where nothing gets done but worry.

I break my own heart when I think about wasted time and missing the chance to love. I don't want to miss my life. Something is looming. I always get gloomy in the winter/spring. Fucking meds.

How the hell can life be so brillent and dull at the same time? Just yesterday I was chanting my own praises of the girl who is 25 and has just been given a major job at the countries major regional theatre. My am getting a ".add your favorite presigious theatre here....head", now if I can only get out of bed in the morning to my job.

and I can't get life in order