intermittantly tenacious/asleep

tenacious.

I am. TO the people I love. I miss them right now. I can't wait to be back in Minneapolis.

Today is confusing. I'm in Duluth, trying to work/wanting to sleep. My nails are naked.

I am trying to plan my life again. Trying to determine if the planning itself or the not knowing myself enough to plan or something beyond mythic reach is the reason for my failure at life and my failure to make a good plan, stick to it and be happy.

I still don't know what exactly it is I want.

I want to know when I stopped believing and looking for God. And Godesses. And spirituality and good souls and soul mates and being at one with the universe.

and when did I stop signing letters love and peace and when did I start to sign them with love and really meant it?

I miss the girl I once was. It's dark and scary when light is being placed in the corners of my mind I haven't touched for fear of death. Can we really vanquish all the ghosts and the ghosts of ghosts? The medication has given a false pretense.

I guess I have to work on this happiness thing. I have to know what it is that makes me happy and chase it until exhaustion puts me to bed. And that is life my friends.

tenacious sleeping

tenacious depressed

tenacious healing

tenacious (fill in the blank with who you will become)

passion, fire, spark, enthusiasm, generalized excitement, love, loins, death of ideals, new friends, dear friends, old aquaintances, every minute:

keep me from this sleep which wants to stop me from living and creating and living to create.

I used to have a dream

I used to dream

about my life

intermittantly.