the anti-cheerleader cheerleader

Today's secret word is... OFF. as in day off. We had a brunch today, as a final cap to this particular residency, and I really feel that I have a new perspective on this job. Ask me later and I might be able to actually phrase it.

This last week has been a lot of calling friends saying "I can't do it anymore... But it is only a week... but I am going absolutely INSANE... but the people are ok" I am absolutely bi-polar in this. I think it was my personality that clashed with this job and the group and my sense of individuality was taken from me so completely when conforming to the job and the "institution" . Theaters should never be allowed to be institutions.

And I wasn't interested in any of the lives of the people on tour. I clashed. People were not drawn to me. I was not drawn to them. And I had to call home (ie friends & family)and say "why don't people like me? What's wrong with me? What am I doing wrong?"

Why do I end up in jobs that are against my need for reclusion??