It's impossible to look pretty when the humidity is above 70%

My face becomes beads of sweat in this weather. It's impossible to look pretty when the humidity is above 70%. Rain, for the love of god, rain...

Jen's relationship is failing. Why does that always make me more content? I am not afraid to admit that I like it when there are more people who are dependent on me.

It seems that sometimes I collect addresses, email addresses and dig them out like memories but never really use them to make a connection beyond the loss of friends. What is this about. This weekend's party, living with 5 people, participating in KC's birthday day with co-workers... it all is boiling down to something. I feel thankful tonight. For those I have been connected to, it really is in the connection with the great people who have ebbed through my life, that I am able to carry on.

Ryan Adams is so right for tonight.

It's almost like I am so satisfied tonight, I have forgotten about this lonliness which used to invade me. I long for B but only in a sexual way. Have I just traded my emotions for sexual lust? Is that like dealing with the devil? Fuck. I don't believe in that kind of mythology. Hum..

Interesting I should bring up mythology.

I used to be searching for my own kind, my own defination of the mystic, my own god or goddesses and some kind of vision to follow. I've stopped looking once I started to listen to myself. And once I started to believe that their were bits of wisdom in the air.