definitive

FINALLY

Back off sugar

dreamy happiness

clarity and such

I took 1/2 my med last night in the hopes of going off completely. Took Harry Potter to bed with me and finally finished it. Life is good. Looks like M&D are going to give me the money for school... what was supposed to be a house payment. But who knows when or if I will do that house thing. AND I refuse to plan for a future decision that may never happen. I hope to be non-single and stable when I decide to settle into a house, and that is far from going to happen. So why not start a new career debt free??

I am scared of many things on this new journey. Not being good enough. Not liking it. Not being strong enough. Becoming depressed again. Not having enough money. Not having enough study time. Failing. Failing. Failing.

For once, I am just going to take the risk. I am refusing to be miserable my entire life and let the decisions be made by an unknown force or so-called destiny. I need a different life. One that is healthy and physically-centric.

and I'm scared but ready.