warts and all

Another birthday has passed. And the only things I regret... not having sex. It seems so trivial when it's constantly alluded to and talked about but for me to say (while I see grey hair and wrinkles)"I've never had sex", is like being a child in a body that is already disintegrating. It's like a piece of the mystery of life is missing and until I "do it", I'll never really feel grown up either. I'M STUNTED!!

But mostly, the age has just made me feel alone. No matter how many phone calls or cards I recieve, I still live alone and engage in a mediocre fantasy life just to get by (batteries also help). I believe the perhaps dying young is so much better than living life alone and in constant restlessness and questing for love. Call me old fashioned, romantic, so-1987, I don't care... I'm not going to feel complete.

The show we are doing now is so cute. And there is this frog who sings this song, which felt good on my birthday...

"out there somewhere someone's gonna love you... warts and all."