conflict

looking for love on the internet is just wrong. I sit in front of this computer night after night. Longing inside for connection. For these cables to lead somewhere. Out and over to someone else's house where they feel the music they play isn't enough of a companion ... Searching the words and pictures online of others - hoping that their internets connect out there in the big world.

I'm sick of the boys in my head. I need to purge these constant thoughts of who is going to be in my future. This is hard. This future thing. This alone thing.

Rufus to keep me company tonight. But after 14 tracks the orchestra stops and the voice fades and the cd player spins into something a little less real.

It must be time for bed.

My conflict lies in this good life. Alone.