thoughts on him, status quo and again the question "is it worth it?"

I talked to Shiatsu boy and the bb lover tonight and both told me opposite things about the boy. One was rash SBoy said "dump the republican, that is a fundamental difference". but bbL says "it would be too easy". It would be.

I'm looking for reasons to drop him. Come on boy, just give me a reason. But then Kevin said "you've been really happy". and it's true. It is just really hard to get to know someone who is NOTHING LIKE ANYONE I know. Amazingly so. I'm not used to dealing with a guy guy also. I'm used to people who tell me what they feel. To people who wear their hearts on their sleaves. To people who don't challenge me. To people who are worldly and experienced and diverse. He is of a different world. He's normal, average, status quo - all the things I have tried forever to not be and rise above. He has validated for me why and that I am not just trying to be better to be better or different there is a reason I pick an alternative culture. BECAUSE IT'S BETTER HERE! DUH! I never got that before.

So this is good for me. Because he does challenge me. But am I accepting the challenge for challenge's sake or do I actually like this guy? What is my purpose here with him. I can't hardly ask him what he wants if I don't know myself and I can't ask how he feels when I don't know myself.

We are both cautious and non emotional with strangers. But what happens when we aren't strangers anymore? Will there still be commonality or will the fact that we have nothing more to learn drive us away?

What I really want to say to him tomorrow is 1) don't miss understand me 2) Tell me what you feel about it 3) Tell me if I am over the line. I don't think that is too much. That is basic communication.

The question I pose every day:

"Is it worth it?"