happy birthday to me!

1. woke to a dream, like a distant memory: someone was trying to kill me, she rubbed a death lotion on my back (actually there were two of us but I don't remember who the other one was). It was grey and chalky and I instantly fled running like crazy everywhere screaming

"I'm a virgin and I'm going to die! Somebody, anybody! I'm a virgin and I'm going to die!"

I was fanatical about getting fucked before I died. I think the dream took place in my grade school gym. All these people from high school were there, wearing old clothes like my grandmother in bright fashions with matching necklace and earring sets of big white plasic spheres. Leanne was there. After wondering around screaming through the crowds my profanity and nobody was paying any attentionsome guy with a likeness to the cross between old john travolta and bill clinton finally agreed to fuck me, reluctantly (ey, the self-concious), and we were in a parking lot. And I was on top and then I was on the bottom.

But here's the funny thing. I didn't die. I didn't even remember the end of the sex, I just remember wondering around completely embarrassed that I had told everyone I was a virgin. and then I had to wake up.

2. This is a pleasant way to start off my 25th birthday, with the sweet reminder that I have to go around begging to be fucked. Or with the reminder that I am somehow strange and that I can't ever smoothly transition into a sexual relationship because I still have the sexual intelligence of your everyday 8th grader.

3. I am really, really happy here. :) Snuffles and I had a brillent time last night, finding dinky town and having so yummy authenitic mexican food (nato would be so jealous) and avoiding the large groups of people for simple conversation where we are both noticed.

4. maybe when I have sex I will notice that I am really not missing anything.

5. Madison this weekend to see the family. I feel surrounded by love here. I am busy, happy, healthy, and concious. Life just keeps getting better as I put some time between me and my depression.

happy birthday to me!!