my own little crack fuck

I got really wasted last night. I feel flat on my back bowling. My ego was wounded. I realized my foolishness but could not do anything about it. ouchy.

There are days that I wonder why I was ever hired to do this job. I can't keep up with the work lately. I need to re-assess a lot of my former priorities.

I have been thinking of babies and dogs and husbands and relationships. Once you get a hint of what being a couple could be like, it's like fucking crack. Suddenly I would trade the gypsy life for co-dependancy just to loose myself of the constant feeling of alone left in the void between sexual encounters. The abyss.

There must be some kind of spiritual growth spurt about to come to me. But they always look so much better in retrospect.